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For one thing, watching your partner follow their dreams can make you resentful—or it can make you focus more on your own ambitions. “When I got my acceptance letter, my boyfriend got inspired to make new strides in his career.

It doesn’t work out like that for everyone, but both of us are motivating each other to go farther.” It works even better if both halves of a relationship are obsessed with the same thing.

(Just count the times this author uses the word “hero.”) Thus, the master/protégé dynamic cements power differentials that are simply too pronounced to create a healthy relationship, Not to mention the fact that grad-student/faculty relationships literally ruin careers: When a student and faculty member start sleeping together, rarely is it a well-kept secret; often, the student becomes a departmental pariah.

Without support from fellow students (and, often, dismissed by the other professors in the department), many of these once-promising grad students wind up out of the discipline entirely.

This is not just icky—it is highly damaging to the profession.

For despite the handful of happy families that result from professor/grad student couplings, the practice has an overwhelmingly deleterious effect on the academic community.

Catch22Dating is a community of highly educated, successful singles including graduate students and young professionals in their 20s and 30s.

At Catch22, we understand the unique dating needs, interests, and time limitations of graduate students.

Because not only are these relationships almost always an unacceptable abuse of power, they also affect the dynamics of departments, entire fields, and the very act of academic mentorship altogether.

Privacy and trust in who you are matched with are of the utmost importance.

We verify your dates and help screen for you so that you can focus on getting to know your matches.

Plus, I’m trying to figure out whether a writing MFA would be a good time investment for me, and talking to my boyfriend and his fellow students is giving me a lot of insight into how the program works. Obviously, grad students are using a lot of energy on their program instead of on their relationships. On the bright side, the busy-ness issues mean that my time-management skills are really getting polished.

Every Saturday, I write out all of our obligations for the week, and try to tweak our schedules so we have time together.




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